if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I want you more than these girls want KFC
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
