Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
