Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Holy sore nipples Batman
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
