My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
