so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
