woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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