he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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