...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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