i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
