Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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