it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
