could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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