She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
