i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize