He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
