She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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