If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So much Jack, so little girl.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Panties = found
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