i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
