I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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