If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
