I skipped work to stalk him.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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