i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
