I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
