We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
