its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
