It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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