they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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