his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
