I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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