remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
