I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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