Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
