This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
