they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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