In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
