there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
