well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
