'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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