I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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