why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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