well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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