Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
