My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
