your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
