Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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