She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize