i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
