What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
