I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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