It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
