Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
not ubering you a puppy
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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