Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the day after is always just damage control
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
