Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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