He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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