Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
