There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
