I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
