Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
