did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
