you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
